Friday, February 22, 2013

A case of the Februaries?



I know that there are some real feelings behind yesterday's whiny post, but I also think that it's partly the cold, the dark, and the time in the term.  Interestingly, I'm giving Happier at Home another chance, and I just got to the point where Gretchen has a dark night of the soul of sorts, and complains that she's tired of her own voice, her continued failure to keep her resolutions...She mentions that it feels like Groundhog Day, just in time for the holiday, which is coming up. Maybe this is just a February phenomenon.

Just writing the post yesterday felt better, as did the supportive comments. I do feel, as Shauna and Kick Kick said, that things in my life have become a little stagnant. The dreams I have been having are so vivid partly because of the allergy meds I take (my sister had the same experience when she took them) but I think I am also really feeling the need to be more creative. (I don't think anything in particular was on TV, Vickie, I was flipping channels.)

So, "Define the problem." I am not writing because I'm afraid to write. I love writing on my blog because it's easy, and quick, and I get almost immediate feedback. The idea of laboring over a manuscript and then trying to get it published, assuming it's any good, and then possibly facing bad reviews... (yes, I haven't written anything yet and already it's getting panned by the critics! I should be so lucky as to get bad reviews!) The idea of writing for my own satisfaction sounds great, but it's hard to imagine writing and not having someone read it.

To be doing something productive, I spent some time researching self-publishing. I know a couple of people who have self-published books, and they seemed to enjoy the experience. I don't know if I would go that direction, for sure, but it gives me a sense that at the very least, I could self-publish and put links on Facebook and on my blog and have at least a few friends read it. I read (and favorably reviewed on Amazon) my friend's self-published romance novel and it was a lot of fun for $3.99. Why not just do something like that if I'm worried about the whole publishing thing?

First, write. Then figure it out. Starting next week, I'm going to give myself a 15-minute block each morning just for writing (and fun writing, not academic writing or paper-grading) and see what happens.  When I tried NaNoWriMo, I was having fun with it until I got too bogged down in schoolwork and freaked out and quit.  I waste more than 15 minutes a day on Facebook, my real-life equivalent to sitting in an alley with baboons while flipping channels. Why not use that time for something more productive?

Thanks again for continuing to read, comment, and give me a chance to get my head clear. Now, back to the papers.

3 comments:

  1. I like your ideas about being more productive, and I could take a lesson from them. I also agree that a case of the "Februaries" is the likely cause of my malaise. We need spring and sunshine to perk up our energy levels and to get rid of SAD (my problem, maybe not yours). Glad you used your blog to vent. It helps many of us to read other's ideas.

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  2. Maybe you should look into a community like Fiction Press. I haven't used them, but my roommate has when she was younger, and it helped her to have a supportive audience reading pages as they came out. That way you get the instant feed back of a blog, but in a place where your audience is friendly to armature writers, and doesn't expect the book to be done all at once.

    http://www.fictionpress.com/

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  3. What I love about blogging is that you can write about what's bugging you and literally work it out and come up with ideas just by putting it out there. Sounds like you're on the right track.

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"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07