Weigh-in, June 19: STRESS

I think it's sort of funny that I will be co-facilitating a discussion at Fitbloggin' on "dealing with the shame of regain," considering the amount of stress this week's weigh-ins have given me.  We teach what we need to learn, I guess. Today's number is a bummer. Yesterday's was a little lower, 179.4. We went out last night with friends and I did not give a thought to today's weigh-in as I was drinking beer and enjoying bar food. I am salt-sensitive anyway -- a normal restaurant meal can push my weight way up, so this was not going to result in a good weigh-in. What bothered me most this morning is thinking about what everyone would think when I posted a weigh-in above 180. I tried the tricks of getting on and off the scale, trying to fiddle with the number. I considered not posting at all. 

It's bothering me that this blog has become so focused around weight posts. I wanted it to be about more than that. Fitbloggin' is probably a good opportunity for me to think about what else I want to talk about.

Books, books, and more books

Note: All links to books in this post are Amazon affiliate links, mostly so you can find out more about them if you are interested. If you choose to buy something from one of my links, thank you.

I decided to make the switch to Wednesday weigh-ins, so look for that post tomorrow. I was relieved this morning to be back under 180 -- my weight has been up since our Pelee trip -- I really let myself get off-track by not logging my food, and it has taken me a while to get back into the groove of logging every day, and then I definitely had some travel/hormonal things going on with water retention. I'm hoping things are settled down more by tomorrow. I missed a couple of days of daily checklists but will put them at the end of this post.

I have been doing some homework of sorts, sort of like my old summer reading projects. I heard about The Schwarzbein Principle (Amazon affiliate link) on a podcast recommended by Nacho Mama on her podcast. (I have been listening to Margo's podcast archives and I feel like I know her -- can't wait to meet her at Fitbloggin', where we are co-facilitating a small-group discussion.)

Though the dieticians on the podcast she recommended are a little one-sized-fits-all for my taste (everyone in the world is apparently gluten-sensitive and lactose intolerant), I bought The Schwarzbein Principle (Amazon affiliate link) and The Schwarzbein Principle II (another affiliate link) for a penny each, plus $3.99 shipping, and really like the approach.  Dr. Schwarzbein is an endocrinologist, so her books are all about the hormonal effects of foods, especially insulin. That's not news anymore -- there are lots of books that emphasize insulin on the shelves right now -- but I like her balanced approach.  She doesn't recommend no- or low-carb, but a diet that balances carbs, fats, and proteins and focuses on whole foods.  The sample diet plans remind me of what I learned in health class in the 1970s before we all became fat-phobic -- four food groups and balanced meals. The protein amounts aren't huge -- 2-3 ounces per meal and 1-3 ounces per snack. She doesn't cut out whole food groups like some other plans I have seen.  I like the emphasis on whole, real foods.  I think I could make this work with my life. The only problem is that she is anti-coffee. I keep my coffee intake reasonable, I don't drink it all day long, just in the mornings. I am going to start working some of her principles into my day and see if I can ease back on the coffee a bit.

I have been doing a lot of other reading too. On my plane trip I finished two novels, The Next Best Thing (affiliate link) and John Steinbeck's East of Eden, which I bought in the Asilomar gift shop. Steinbeck is one of my favorite writers and I had been wanting to read his masterpiece for a long time, and I liked reading it after I had visited his home country.

As you can tell, I'm an eclectic reader. I love classics but I also enjoy lighter beach reads. I read self-development and nonfiction, especially stuff about science. I read almost every weight-loss-related book that comes out.  I need another big, engrossing book to read on the way to Fitbloggin' -- I just bought a bunch of young adult fiction for light summer reading at one of our local used bookstores, but I need something more substantial for a long plane ride. Any recommendations?  During the school year I almost never read fiction because I get too caught up in it, but this summer I am going back to the kid who would lose herself in book after book.  I just recently finished Beautiful Ruins on audiobook, which I loved, especially since part of it was set in Italy and had a little bit of Italian sprinkled in.

The only thing I'm not in the mood for is the kind of book that Oprah used to feature in her book club -- the anguish-filled stories of child abuse and pain that don't seem to offer anything except misery. The epitome of this genre is Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone (affiliate link), which is probably my all-time most-hated book, unless it's Songs in Ordinary Time (also an affiliate link), another Oprah selection that I hated so much that I purposely left in a hotel room so I wouldn't make myself finish it. Any other recommendations, though, would be appreciated!

Daily checklist for Sunday:

• At least 30 minutes of exercise per day: No real exercise, I was very tired and chose to take the day off
• Do my physical therapy exercises: Did some of them in the swimming pool 
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone": Logged all my food but was way over.
• Take my supplements: Taken
• At least 3 servings of veggies and 2 fruits: Banana, strawberries, carrot, celery, baby spinach, a few blueberries and raspberries
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber: A little under
• At least 90 ounces of fluids: Didn't keep track as well as I should have, might have been under

Daily checklist for Monday:

• At least 30 minutes of exercise per day: 30 minutes of swimming plus 1 1/2 hour bike ride
• Do my physical therapy exercises: Did not do them -- I have to make this a priority
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone": Quite a bit under because of all the exercise, right around where I want to be.
• Take my supplements: Taken
• At least 3 servings of veggies and 2 fruits: Banana, romaine, spinach, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, asparagus, carrots, celery
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber: About 30
• At least 90 ounces of fluids: About 100

Fitbloggin' planning

Our Fitbloggin' session is more a facilitated discussion than a presentation with questions and answers. I love this, because I like to teach my classes that way, too. But at the same time, I'm thinking I will want to provide anyone interested with a little backstory on me and why I wanted to talk about this topic, and also give links to resources and other things I have found helpful.

We won't have a screen or A/V equipment, but I thought I could write a blog post and tweet the link close to the conference. Anyone who is reading my blog could then join in the conversation, whether they are attending the conference or not.  I will probably post it early in the week before the conference.  

A big part of what I want to talk about and what I am still working on myself is how to make positive changes and work toward goals without making my self-worth dependent on the results. I think I still feel the need to apologize if I have a high weigh-in or let things slide a little when I'm on a trip. That's not the kind of life I want.  

It's funny, I am working on a virtual collage of my pictures at different times in my life to give a sense of my history with body issues. Before, I would look at the higher-weight photos and think, "yuck." I have no pictures of myself at my highest weight because I systematically destroyed them all.  But now I look at the pictures I have and think, "That's me," and "oh, that's me too." I think it's sad that I spent so much time being so hard on myself. And still do, sometimes.

Daily checklist:

• At least 30 minutes of exercise per day: 45-minute Pilates Circuit class, some stuff around the house
• Do my physical therapy exercises: Did not do them today, though the Pilates class works some of the muscles they address. 
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone": Logged all my food but was a little over.
• Take my supplements: Missed them and it's too late now, I don't want to risk an interaction with my nighttime meds.
• At least 3 servings of veggies and 2 fruits: Orange, avocado, romaine, baby spinach, grated carrots, pear
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber: 38
• At least 90 ounces of fluids: 98

Back to basics

Between my trip to Pelee Island and my trip to Asilomar, I have let logging my food slip by the wayside. My weight is up a bit -- it isn't much of a stretch to think that the two things are related. I know (and you know if you have been reading for a while) that ups and downs are normal for me, but I still want to get things back on track before I undo my hard-earned progress.

Fitbloggin' is only 13 days away, and I know I'm not going to lose a lot of weight between now and then, but I can at least get back to the habits that make me feel my best, especially since I'm going to be a model in the fashion show. I want to feel confident.

So, here are the habits I am going to be following:

• At least 30 minutes of exercise per day (already did a 35-min Spin class today, may go for a walk)
• Do my physical therapy exercises (just added this one, did some of them but need to do the rest)
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone" (have a few calories left for a snack later)
• Take my supplements (taking right after I post)
• At least 3 servings of veggies and 2 fruits (so far: avocado, salad, broccoli, peppers, onions, and strawberries)
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber (at 19, about halfway, may make a smoothie and add chia seeds for fiber)
• At least 90 ounces of fluids (already at 108)

I'm still unpacking from the last conference but I'm going to do it with FitBloggin' in mind -- any of the toiletries and other stuff that I don't really need between now and then is going to stay packed. I was hoping to take only my backpack with me, but I think that's probably unrealistic. I used my backpack as a carryon for this last trip, and I couldn't fit many clothes in it.  

Pacific Grove Photos

I got back last night from a conference at a gorgeous California state park. The weather was a bit chilly. I didn't get any serious workouts in, but I did a lot of walking on the boardwalks and the beach.

The water was very cold but I still had to get my toes in every day.

Most of my walking was in the morning or evenings, since I had conference sessions to attend in the daytime. I did not see any mountain lions.

I got to go to Monterey one night with some friends I met at the conference. It was warmer there and the bay looked so much different than the ocean where we stayed.

I didn't buy any of this candy but it was pretty. More than $2 per piece, though!

Except for salt water, we were in what seemed to be a desert of sorts.

Took this last picture on my way home -- over Minnesota, every little cloud was making a dark shadow on the ground. We flew through a storm, so I am happy to be home.

Wednesday weigh-in, June 5: Post-vacation

Raise your hand if you guessed I might be stalling yesterday when I didn't post a weigh-in. Smart, too smart.  I was at 179.8 yesterday, today I'm down 0.4 but still way up from where I would expect to be. I was a little surprised, but my body definitely still feels out-of-whack.

I'm going to put it out there right now that there probably won't be a weigh-in post next week -- I leave for California on Sunday morning early, and I won't be anywhere near a scale again until Friday morning. I have to leave for the airport very early Sunday.  I'm looking forward to the trip. I'm presenting early in the conference, which means I can relax and enjoy the rest of it. I'll probably post some pictures either from the conference or when I get back. I'll be staying right on the Pacific Ocean. The conference center has a heated pool so I will pack my bathing suit, goggles, and swim cap along with clothes for outdoor activities. It's a work trip, but I still plan to find time for workouts too.

R

Pelee Island Pictoral

As you probably noticed, there was no weigh-in post yesterday. I was stranded on a Canadian island in Lake Erie with no scale, no computer, and not even very good phone service. I might follow Roni's lead and switch my weigh-in posts to Wednesday.

Today I'm sharing some vacation photos from Pelee Island, one of the Lake Erie Islands. Those of you who follow me on Facebook have seen these already -- sorry!

Pelee Island hosted its first half-marathon and my husband decided to enter. We made a weekend getaway of it.We left Friday afternoon and went through the Windsor border crossing, about an hour from our house. We took the ferry from Leamington, about two hours east of Windsor.

We had booked a room at the Pelee Places Bed and Breakfast, but got upgraded to the Stone House, a little cottage built in 1847. It was very cozy and hobbitlike.

I packed some food -- water, fruit, hummus, veggies, cheese, KIND bars, crackers -- but we wanted to sample the local island fare too. Our favorite place was Conorlee's Bakery and Delicatessen, which had nice fresh salads, some delicious baked goods, and pretty good pizza.  Most of the other restaurants on the island seemed to be bar/diner food -- we didn't try them.

We shared this cherry-cheesecake popover and a samosa, and each had a lentil salad. I loved the dressing in this and wish I could figure out how to duplicate it. I ended up swapping the Limonata for my husband's iced tea, because it was a lot sweeter than I thought it would be.

We got passes for a free winery tour and tasting from our B&B host. The Pelee Island Winery uses real European wine grape varieties, not Concord grapes like most Lake Erie wines. We brought two bottles home with us, which was the max for customs.

I used my bike to explore the island and to watch my husband race. I got about an hour and a half of hard riding -- there was a stiff headwind -- on the day of the race. I will never ride a bike without eyewear again -- I got gravel dust in my eyes and barely got to see Jesse finish before rushing back to the cabin to remove my contact lenses and put on my glasses. Lesson learned.

The views from the island were incredible. I woke up early and got to see the sun rise over the lake.

We got a lot of windy, rainy weather on Saturday. Here are storm clouds rolling in over Fish Point.

There was a little platform across the street from our hotel where we could watch the sunset.

My husband had heard that because of the weather, some of the ferries were cancelled. He was freaking out because he had to get back to give an exam on Monday. We were booked on the Sandusky ferry, which ended up being cancelled. He was able to ride back with some friends who were going back via the Leamington ferry, and got back late on Sunday night. I stayed behind to bring the car back and was given a discounted rate at our little cabin. I spent most of the evening packing and repacking the car, and looking for my toothbrush, which my husband had picked up and put into his suitcase.  I got up early and, since there was nothing else to do, decided to be the first person in line for the ferry. I had hoped to get a coffee and maybe a pastry at Conorlee's, but they weren't open yet.  I munched on apples and a KIND bar and had a bottle of water from the cooler and read a book while I waited. (The American Heiress, very good. If you are a Downton Abbey fan, you will really like it. Here's an Amazon affiliate link if you want more info.)

I didn't stand out on the deck this time. It was very cold and I was tired. I grabbed my backpack, my passport, and my book and sat at a little table. I was able to get a coffee on the ferry, which brightened my mood. On the way into Sandusky, I could see the rides at Cedar Point from the window.

I had never been through Customs by water before. I had only ever crossed at Windsor. I had to fill out a declaration form. The only thing I was bringing with me that I worried about was the rest of the food in the cooler. I wasn't sure if they'd make me toss my veggies and hummus, but it was no big deal. I did see a drug-sniffing dog checking out some of the cars on the way in.  My car smelled a little like smoke when I got it back -- I don't know if they searched it or if it was just fumes from the ferry.

I was very happy to get home last night. I had all these plans to do all the laundry and cook a healthy dinner, but we were tired and just went out. I finished my book and we went to bed early.

I enjoyed the trip, but it's going to be good to be back to my normal routine. I need to do some grocery shopping and unpack today. I leave for another trip on Sunday morning, this time to the west coast.