Celebrating: Ten pounds

I have now lost 10 pounds since I decided to invest in Lose It! premium on December 28. I made this decision after my husband's 5-year-old nephew, who only sees me at Christmastime, said, "You are a little fatter." I said, ssadly, "I know." He said, "It's not your fault, it's your belly." He said this very sweetly and innocently, but I decided that was enough for me. I couldn't pretend that my weight gain was only a temporary blip.

The only reason Lose It! hasn't awarded me a 10-pound badge today is that I didn't put that December 28 weigh-in into the app, so it thinks I have only lost 9.6. I put all my weigh-ins into FatWatch, because it isn't linked to twitter and doesn't announce every up and down.

I usually post graphs here that are smoothed out with a rolling average -- they eliminate some of the big ups and downs.  I was able to export my data and make an uglier but more accurate graph in Excel of what losing 10 pounds looks like for me.  As you can see, I have a lot of ups and downs.

I still have just over 21 pounds to my Weight Watchers goal weight.  I carried another nephew, who weighs between 20 and 25 pounds, downstairs yesterday and I definitely noticed adding 20 pounds makes a huge difference in how my knees feel.  I am hoping that subtracting that weight will make things a lot easier on all my joints -- my feet, knees, hips.

Even though I still have more progress to make, I am happy that I have gotten this far.  The last time I weighed this weight was more than two years ago, in March 2011.

I'd definitely recommend both apps I'm using.  FatWatch is great for keeping an accurate and detailed record of your weight, and unlike most apps, it allows you to easily export all your data into Excel.  Lose It! is great for actually doing something about the weight with calorie counting and exercise tracking. The Premium version adds a lot of nice features for $39.99 per year. I wrote a detailed review earlier in the year, so I won't repeat them all here.

Of course, you don't need all these apps to lose weight. You could use a notebook and a calorie-counter book, and some graph paper to plot your losses. They definitely make it more convenient, though.

Anyway, I'm just taking a little time out to celebrate my progress.  I am down a little more than my 5%, and 10 pounds seems like a lot. Now to do it two more times...

Finding my way

I'm starting to make peace with my injury, as it's not like not accepting it will make it go away. As Vickie says, there is a lot I can still do. I have been taking it relatively easy to get the swelling in my knee down. I'm sitting here with an ice pack right now.

I am figuring out what I can do.  I did a Pilates class yesterday, which was mostly fine -- I had a few painful moments but I was able to modify.  Monday I did a Spin class and that seemed fine too, which is a relief. If I can do Spinning, I can get the intensity that I need and keep most of my cardio fitness while the injury heals. In the past, when I have had to take time off running, doing Spinning instead seemed to help make the transition back to running okay.  I still have hope that I will be able to do some running again, though I don't plan to make it such a single-minded focus ever again.  I have figured out that running does not equal great weight loss for me. I don't think I am a good enough runner to run fast enough to burn tons of calories.  I am a much better cyclist and swimmer. Speaking of swimming, it seemed to be kicking off the wall that hurt, so I may try going and doing open turns or just kicking off with my better leg. I have to be careful not to aggravate my shoulder, which is another old injury.

I am pretty sure that the real lesson of this injury is to bring back yoga and strength training.

I'm still hoping to be able to do a triathlon this summer, even a tiny one, but I am not going to push it if my knee says no. It is currently the boss of me. I do not want crippling arthritis or a knee replacement. I have my golden years to consider.

On the diet front, I had a bad food weekend, which resulted in a big weight swing up, but I have corrected for it and my weight is coming back down again.  I am eating cleaner, which for me still includes grains and legumes -- I had a quinoa salad with lunch and my favorite red lentil soup last night for dinner. I have consulted various websites and books on an anti-inflammatory diet and am taking their recommendations into account when planning meals. Many of them say too much meat can be inflammatory, which is fine with me since my environmental concerns and tastes have always meant that it's a small part of my diet. The Mediterranean diet is probably the best fit for my personal preferences and philosophy. That doesn't mean that I sit with a big loaf of bread and dip it into a vat of olive oil while guzzling wine (though that sounds heavenly, especially with the Up & Running tiramisu for dessert)!

I have 5 days (technically 7) to lose 4.9 pounds (which on my scale is 5, because it rounds to the nearest 0.2) if I am going to win my DietBet. My best hope for the Biggest Loser resort trip may be to root for my husband to win and take me, but I'm not giving up yet. I would love to be in the 160s for FitBloggin' in late June.

Finally, I just realized that I have been struggling with this weight thing for about 10 years now. I have been pretty hard on myself at times, especially when I have felt judged by other people. I was touched by this post by LBTEPA (most mysterious acronym ever) that reminded me that other people's nastiness doesn't reflect the truth.  In LBTEPA's case, it is definitely NOT true that she is carrying extra pounds because she is lazy, as I cringed in pain when she posted about doing a triathlon on an injured ankle. (And no, I don't expect people to go that far in defense against negativity.) For me, when other people are nasty, I could take it personally like I usually do, or I could acknowledge that it hurts, take whatever part of the criticism is valid into consideration, and disregard the rest. The quote by Plato that she ended with, "Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle," goes for ourselves too.

Weekly weigh-in May 20: Another bad week, another bad weigh-in

I am discouraged, to say the least, that I am back up so much on the scale, even though I know that some of the gain is temporary water gain and will be gone in the next few days. I was in the high 170s all last week, and we went out with college friends on Saturday and went to a cookout yesterday.  Still, it's no fun to see the weight I worked hard to lose return on the scale. Or in my DietBet, which now has me at no weight lost.

I have been feeling very down about the injury. Scaling back on my activity always makes me feel worse, even though it might seem like a rest. I don't feel like myself when I haven't gotten a good sweat. And I'm in some pain, which is no fun.  I am taking Aleve (naproxen sodium) twice a day, and I wonder if that might have some impact on my weight as well.

But I know now, after Friday's appointment, what I'm dealing with. Even though I'm not supposed to run, there are a lot of other things I can do.  I'm going to go to a Spin class today. That will help a lot.

This week will be a busy one.  I have a conference paper to finish for my conference that I leave for in 20 days. My goal is to have it posted before I leave for another trip with my husband on May 31.  I don't want to bring this paper into June.  Sooner, rather than later.  Time for me to take the good advice I have been giving my capstone students all semester about not procrastinating and doing a little every day.

I have been wanting to plant some flowers and a few tomato plants, but I'm not buying anything until I get some serious work done on that paper.

What I did this week: May 13-19

This Tuesday I learned that my knee pain was caused by a bone spur, and this Friday, I was assessed by a physical therapist. Actually by two, an experienced therapist and a student who was shadowing. The student actually did the evaluation, watched and backed up by the therapist.

I had seen a different physical therapist in the past and though I liked him personally, he never seemed to give me enough information about why I was having problems. That left me trying a lot of different things but not having a clear direction on how to make myself better. I tried everything from minimalist shoes/barefoot running (not great for the kind of body I have -- most successful barefoot runners are skinny) to more confining, stability shoes. And finally I had given up, and used the orthotics that  the podiatrist made for me in a very basic, neutral shoe.

This therapist thinks those orthotics are too rigid but that my shoes are not stable enough. My hips are also not strong enough, allowing my knees to buckle when I walk which is contributing to all the problems I've had. My guess is that all the sitting I have done while grading papers/goofing off has not helped either. I have some exercises to strengthen my hips, and I'm going to be seeing the therapist 1-2 times a week for a while.

I'm frustrated but I want to do what it takes to get better. Feeling sorry for myself is probably not part of that plan, though I did indulge a bit on Friday afternoon.

What did I manage to do this week, with all that going on? Not as much as I would like:

Monday: 30 minutes walking
Tuesday: Nothing, saw the sports medicine doc
Wednesday: Bicycled to campus and back (20 minutes), walked (20 minutes), and did therapy exercises
Thursday: Just did therapy exercises
Friday: Therapy exercises, walked 20 minutes
Saturday: Biked for 45 minutes, walked 30 minutes
Sunday: Skipped swim because it hurt so much last week, did some therapy exercises in the pool.

I'm feeling just a little hopeful that things can get better, but I am worried that I'll lose another summer of really active training.

Sports medicine doctor visit

To review, my current knee problem seemed to start for me when I started taking the Xtend Barre and Butts & Guts classes -- both strength classes with a lot of bent-knee weight bearing. Especially Xtend Barre, where the instructor kept barking, "BEND YOUR KNEES MORE!" It hurt while I was doing it, and it hurt after I did it, and I should have known better. It's hard when I'm getting yelled at like that to listen to my own body. I did stop taking the classes, but apparently not until I had gotten the knee area good and inflamed. And then I tried to do running and swimming and my knee just didn't feel right. It wasn't like my past experiences of Runner's Knee, which hurt under the kneecap. My pain was above the knee and to the side. It wasn't just the pain but also a deep feeling that something was just not right.

I have to admit I was a little nervous about going to a sports medicine doctor. I figure these docs are probably all ex-jocks, so I pictured a super-tan aging dude with a crewcut and big biceps. It, sad to say for my feminist self, did not occur to me that the doctor would be a woman. She may be an ex-jock -- she is very tall so maybe basketball or volleyball.  She was very nice.

I explained my problem and just like my family doc, she asked lots of questions and took my issue very seriously, more seriously than I had taken it myself. I was afraid I was making a big deal out of nothing. She felt around the knee joint and had me bend it different ways. I had worn loose capris to make this easier, and I was glad I did.

She did a quick knee ultrasound and looking at it, even I could tell that something was weird. There was a pointy thing that did not look like it should be there. The doctor went back and forth over it a couple of times and then sent me over to X-ray. The X-ray technician asked, "So this has been going on for about a month?" after checking the films. The doctor showed me the X-rays -- there was a triangle-shaped spur on top of my kneecap, exactly where you would not want a pointy thing. The little black triangle on the drawing is my doctor's illustration of the spur. On the plus side, she didn't see any deterioration in the cartilage in the joint.

Apparently, because of my past problems with Runner's Knee, I have some arthritis and the bone spur is a result of that. Fatiguing and stressing my knees in the new classes caused my knee to track badly, irritating everything. I'm taking anti-inflammatories (just OTC Aleve right now) and I have an appointment with a physical therapist on Friday.  I also have exercises to do at home. A couple of them hurt right now so I might wait on those until after I see the PT. 

I'm doing physical therapy because I want to be back to normal activity as soon as possible. The doctor said I can run "as tolerated" but should probably wait until the inflammation is down.  No more Xtend Barre for me. I did, however, put Pilates Reformer back into my schedule, since the goal for my PT is to increase core and hip strength and decrease pain.

I looked into the Whole30 stuff that Debbi is doing because she said it helped her with her joint pain. I just don't understand the justification for cutting legumes from the diet -- they seem like a good source of vegetable protein. I'm not a vegetarian but I don't like eating a lot of meat.  A lot of other anti-inflammatory diets include them and low-fat dairy. I'm looking into South Beach right now.  The main agreements between these competing plans seem to be:

• Minimize or eliminate processed foods and sugar
• Maximize vegetables (and to a lesser extent, whole fruit)
• Emphasize healthy fats
• Avoid artificial sweeteners

I don't want to follow a strict diet at this point but I think I can definitely incorporate some of these elements into my life.   

Weigh-in Monday, May 13: Out-of-whack week=bad weigh-in

Last week was a mess in so many ways. Getting sick on Tuesday and eating and doing nothing all day. Dealing with the knee issue. And, of course, overdoing it yesterday at our Mother's Day brunch. I wasn't surprised that I had a bad weigh-in. I'm definitely feeling out-of-sorts this morning. It is nice that I'm hitting the dreaded 180 mark only when I've had a really rocky week.

I'm hoping that with a more normal week of eating, and with some kind of helpful information from the sports medicine doctor on Tuesday, things will settle back down. I have a lot of lost ground to make up in my DietBet, where my weight is always a little higher because I have to include my weigh-in outfit. Due to rounding, that can make a difference of between 0.6 and 1 pound.

I turn in my grades for the semester tomorrow, so I have to focus on work today. After tomorrow, though, this weight-loss project becomes my #1 priority

Fitbloggin' session description

This is the session description for the small-group discussion that Margo and I will be leading at this year's Fitbloggin' conference:

Getting Back from Gaining Back

Did you reach your goal weight only to regain as you fell back into old habits? Do you feel sad and ashamed when you remember how you swore that you would "never again" be overweight?

We believe that healthy weight loss begins from a place of self-compassion. It's great to try to develop healthier habits and work toward your goals. We just don't think self-punishment is going to get you there.

Think about it -- even if you could hate yourself skinny, would you really want to?

We’ll talk about:

• Developing healthy habits that are sustainable and rewarding
• Finding ways to ditch shame and find compassion for yourself
• Asking for the support you need from friends and family
• Using technology to help you in your "weight loss project"
• Dealing with body image confusion after a big loss or a big gain
• Living your life with confidence and style, no matter what you weigh

Presented by Margo @shesnachomama and Jen @toledolefty