I'm still getting the hang of Intuitive Eating. I succumbed to a feeling of being unmoored yesterday, wanting some sort of objective feeling that I was doing things right, and spent a day tracking with the LoseIt! app again. I sometimes miss the feeling of certainty that comes with joining Weight Watchers or starting a new diet. As Kelly Mcgonigal wrote in The Willpower Instinct, resolving to change is the best part of starting a weight-loss regime. It feels so good to resolve to change that you might start a program, fail, start again... just to get the high that comes from fantasizing about how everything will be different. I think that's a trap that is very alluring to me, and one I need to stay out of.
I've appreciated the responses I have gotten from everyone. I even had a whole blog post inspired by my writing here. The support means a lot to me. I am also starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of things. I didn't turn Intuitive Eating into a new set of rules to follow. I am focusing, as the new edition of the Intuitive Eating book suggests, on satisfaction. I'm paying attention to how foods make me feel long-term, too, not just while I'm eating them. I am trying to gently learn from experience instead of berating myself when I mess up.
I have seen other posts that aren't necessarily in response to me, but certain things I read on other bloggers' sites have strengthened my resolve to embrace self-acceptance and positive change. One blogger mentioned offhandeldly that she had three scales in her bathroom. I can't imagine a healthy place that having three scales would come from. Another blogger posted perfectly beautiful pictures of herself accompanied by vicious comments about how she looked in them. I see other people who tightly control their food for a while and then, when things are not routine, have a huge problem. I want to follow the 90-10 idea: Have healthy food 90 percent of the time but allow some small indulgences. I'm also getting exercise almost every day, but sometimes it's a walk around my neighborhood -- it doesn't always have to be hardcore.
I don't think the path is the same for everyone. I am definitely still learning and I am expecting that things will evolve over time. I want to get to a place where this is all not such a big deal. I want to take the focus off weight and food and put it on more important things.