I feel pretty okay about myself now. I want to lose weight, but it's not the central drama of my life. I have become convinced, in recent years, that losing weight won't make people love me more or make me a better person. It sounds ridiculous to say that but I really did feel that way.
It doesn't mean I don't sometimes have moments of body shame. I can think of two people in my life who don't seem to treat me as well as they should because they write me off as "less than" because I'm overweight. I think of this as their limitation, not mine.
My approach to weight loss right now is pretty dull, too. A moderate amount of calories, spread out throughout the day so I don't get too hungry. When possible, planning meals so that I know I'm going to get something good that fits within my plan. I made a great chicken chili today that I think is going to be even better as leftovers. Getting a minimum amount of exercise each day but being willing to dial back the intensity on days I don't feel up to an intense workout. Making good food choices 90% of the time but having a piece of chocolate or an order of fries now and then if that's what I really want and fitting them into my calorie budget. I'm feeling fit and strong and calm.