Ditching the drama

Vickie asked, in response to my last post, "What was the drama?" I had said I thought "removing the drama" was making it easier for me to succeed. I didn't mean any specific drama, but more my past approach to weight loss. I thought I had to do everything to extremes or just do nothing at all. I thought I had to "go big or go home" with exercise. I felt desperate to lose so that I would feel okay about myself.

I feel pretty okay about myself now. I want to lose weight, but it's not the central drama of my life. I have become convinced, in recent years, that losing weight won't make people love me more or make me a better person. It sounds ridiculous to say that but I really did feel that way.

It doesn't mean I don't sometimes have moments of body shame. I can think of two people in my life who don't seem to treat me as well as they should because they write me off as "less than" because I'm overweight. I think of this as their limitation, not mine.

My approach to weight loss right now is pretty dull, too. A moderate amount of calories, spread out throughout the day so I don't get too hungry. When possible, planning meals so that I know I'm going to get something good that fits within my plan.  I made a great chicken chili today that I think is going to be even better as leftovers.  Getting a minimum amount of exercise each day but being willing to dial back the intensity on days I don't feel up to an intense workout. Making good food choices 90% of the time but having a piece of chocolate or an order of fries now and then if that's what I really want and fitting them into my calorie budget. I'm feeling fit and strong and calm.

Daily checklists:

Wednesday:

• Average 300 minutes of exercise, with at least 30 minutes per day: Took a 30-minute walk.
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone": Was 14 calories under my limit.
• Take my supplements: I took them at my desk.
• Drink at least 90 ounces of liquids today: I got about 112.
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber: I was low, probably around 22.

Thursday (today):

• Average 300 minutes of exercise, with at least 30 minutes per day: Did a Spin class and got there early, so 40 minutes of intense cycling and 15 of moderate work.
• Log all food in Lose It! and stay in the "green zone": I'm 113 calories under my limit.
• Take my supplements: I took them with my post-workout snack.
• Drink at least 90 ounces of liquids today: I'm at 116 ounces and am drinking another glass of water now.
• Get at least 35 grams of fiber: I'm at 42.