Sunday, June 05, 2011

"The things that get in the way"

In a recent post, I wrote about Brené Brown's assertion that the how-to doesn't help when we don't look at "the stuff that gets in the way." I did a little searching on The Google and found a post that really gets to the heart of how those things that get in the way. Here's a snippet:

People diet to get rid of shame. It’s almost as though they believe that they can sweat it away or starve it away.
But you can’t get rid of shame by trying to fix yourself. 
Fixing yourself because you believe you are broken is very different than self growth and evolution and working to become healthy because you love yourself.  Fixing yourself because you are broken is a task of Sisyphean proportions because you will never be fixed. Mostly because you were never broken. You just thought you were, and you will continue to think you are until you find the antidote to shame, which is acceptance. 
Because you believe that you are broken, there’s a part of you who tries to destroy yourself. How many times have you seen people reinvent themselves, “that was the old me, this is the new me!” (Ala Kirstie Alley- over and over and over again). 
You’re always you. It’s okay, it’s necessary even to improve and change, but that happens naturally through the course of life experience, self growth, holding integrity and finding yourself. 
This is what I was trying to express in the last post I wrote. I don't want to white-knuckle my way through my food issues, I want to find a way to be the kind of person who wants to be good to herself.  It's a much longer trip that way, but I'm hoping it will be more lasting. I had a little victory today, standing up for myself in a situation where I could have easily thrown up one of the "Shame Screens" that Brené talks about, but instead I held my ground and told the truth the way I saw it.  I am not broken and I refuse to be treated as if I am.


  1. I think you need a heart bead for your own bracelet, Jen. Loving yourself as the basis is indeed very different but it's a lot healthier way to live. Love you lots!

  2. been trying to post a comment on this all bloody week! what a brilliant quote... three cheers for standing up for yourself :)

  3. thank you...i really enjoyed this and needed to hear it as well.


"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07