As regular readers have probably noticed, I have been in the process of gradually changing the emphasis of this blog from weight and diet -- no more weigh-ins, no more snazzy charts -- to mental and physical health. I'm also trying to change my mindset in that direction too. I noticed this weekend when Jennette was here how much I think -- and talk -- about diet-related things, especially if another potential dieter is around. Maybe it's a trait left over from all of those Weight Watchers meetings. Maybe women talk about bodies and diets the way men talk about sports -- it's something you can usually assume you have in common when you run into someone of your gender. I hope not. If so, this habit is like my old habit of swearing too much -- something I should probably work on if I want people to take me seriously.
I realize, when the saner part of my brain is in charge, that the 20 or so pounds I want to lose are not worth the brain processing power I expend on them. But it bothers me that my husband weighs less than I do. It bothers me that I have clothes in my closet that still don't fit, even though I thought I'd lose the commuter weight when I lost the commuter job. It bothers me that I have a squishy middle and that I'm not as strong as I used to be.
I know the solution is simple but it seems so difficult. I just want to be healthy and take care of myself, exercise and eat good food. I want to stop feeling bad about myself and comparing myself to other people. I want to stop feeling sad every time I see a magazine cover model with killer abs.
I think more than a diet, I need a brain transplant.