Thursday, March 06, 2008

the worst thing about gaining weight

Not sure how many other people do this, but I had a terrible morning today and thought it would be useful to blog about it. I was trying to get ready for work, and none of my favorite pants (that's trousers to you UK folks, not knickers) were clean. I had to settle for a pair that were a little tighter than I'd like them to be.

I then proceeded to try to put together an outfit with these hated pants out of the many hated (at least right then) options I had available to me. A cute sweater? No, muffin-top showthrough. A bulkier sweater? No, too hot and made me feel potatoey. A pretty blouse? No, larger (thanks to extra fat) breasts causes that dreaded center-button pull. Another blouse? Same problem, only worse. Long-sleeved t-shirt? Nope, muffin again.

I swear, I probably tried on and rejected at least twelve tops and was reduced to tears just trying to get ready for work. Of course, my anxiety was only heightened by the long commute that I was facing, and a day jam-packed with meetings. It is a miracle I even got to work today.

I need to make a trip to the dry cleaners, something I hate almost as much as getting dressed. I put it off for as long as I can, and once I give them my clothes, I hate to go ransom them... I'm almost tempted to just abandon them and buy new ones. Why can't everything be machine-washable?

So my life is littered with rejected, formerly-loved clothes right now. So partially it's about fitness for me, and then there's the other goal of de-topping my muffin... Still feeling completely unequal to dieting, though, as idiotic as I know that is. I have looked at this from every possible angle, and it all comes down to eating less than I would prefer to eat, whether I count Points or calories or do some other magical plan. Where's the Goldfish Cracker diet? I really could get behind that one right now. So you'll notice (especially if you subscribe to the RSS feed and see how many times I've edited this) that the crazy switch has only "On" and "Paused" positions. There is no "Off."

photo by princess toadie

3 comments:

  1. Hi,

    I have been an avid WW since about the age of 15. Now at age 34 (and
    two kids later) I am determined to make it to lifetime!!


    Meanwhile, I make WW points bracelets but I call them "Skinny Bitch"
    bracelets :)
    They are point trackers on your wrist and it keeps you honest!! They
    have really helped me so I thought I would share. Here is my website!
    http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5529828


    Take care!
    Elena

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay girl, either go to the cleaners or go shopping this weekend. You don't deserve to go through this. Even though you've gained a little weight, you still deserve to dress nicely in clothes that make you feel good! You are still down in weight from your heaviest, you are taking steps to get back to goal, and you are going to get there. In the meantime, don't punish yourself with too-tight clothes. It's okay to buy stuff that fits--doesn't have to be a lot, just enough to get you through until you're back down into your smaller sizes. No need to punish yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AMEN to the going shopping and treating yourself.

    no more self-loathing/punishment...that sh** is exhausting!

    although BIG PROPS for your humor.

    I loved the de-topping the muffin line.

    MizFit
    http://www.MizFitOnline.com

    ReplyDelete

"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07