Monday, May 12, 2014

Biggest fears

A weird scared face I make sometimes
I'm getting tired of blogging about the same old things, so I was inspired by a post by Comeback Momma  to blog about my own biggest fears:

1. Being unloved -- worse yet, having someone pretend to care about me when they really don't.

2. Overhearing people talking about me -- I don't like to sleep when other people are awake for fear that I'll overhear something bad about myself.

3. Getting old and sick -- I watched two grandmothers decline from very vibrant, healthy people to very fragile and demented states in a short time.  I especially would worry about other people having to take care of me in that state (see fears 1 and 2).

4. Having my loved ones painfully decline and die.

5. Being confined -- Literally, but also figuratively.

6. Big, creepy bugs -- Especially in hotel rooms, I worry about running into these.

Not exactly a lighthearted post -- even I can laugh at #6, but the rest are powerful stuff.


  1. I read no. 6 as 'big creepy hugs' at first and was thinking of hotels and blogging conferences. oh man, i need some glasses.

    can relate to many of these!

    1. Big, creepy hugs are scary too! But not sincere ones.

  2. Really good areas to work on. I agree powerful list.

    I was trying to think of what my list(s) would have been prior to 1982, 1986, 1990, 1994, 2005, 2008, 2009, now. All those were years of key work/progress for me.

    1. Honestly, I read your topics and thought what a great list for therapy. It is so hard (I think) to realize/communicate those kinds of things. Sometimes we see it as the cause (and it is really a symptom/output). Sometimes it is free floating anxiety (which is always based in fear) looking for a place to land. Sometimes we associate it with other people and it is all about us. Sometimes it IS the other people and is boundary or priority work.

    2. Most of these, I'm not sure I could stop bring afraid of -- they are pretty primal. Maybe I could get over the bugs, if I didn't feel so bad about squishing them.

    3. I suppose the big question is how often you think of them.

      I started my process over fear of diabetes and fear of being a burden to my family. I NEVER think about that any more. No fear. I had other things like that, were constantly with me. In my quiet moments, with nothing to distract me, my mind does NOT go to negatives any more.

  3. I could have written most of your list, because those are the things I am also very afraid of, including being unloved. I have also seen too many people become ill and then decline in significant ways. This experience is always heartbreaking and has changed me in many ways.

    As for the big creepy bugs, I detest them. And BTW, I don't like small biting bugs either. We did run into bed bugs in a Washington DC hotel. My husband didn't believe me until the next morning when he had a bunch of them in the bed in the area of his feet, so he wouldn't leave the hotel night before. I also don't like dead mice, birds, or dead animals of any kind--phobic, I guess. I don't know if all of these things are a bit weird, or in the realm of normalcy. The good thing is that I tend not to think too much about any of them, until I have to.

  4. Glad to have inspired your post. You need to let go of fears about what others think of you. I still struggle with this from time to time, but I am happy to be me and have loved ones who care about me. Others can take a hike.


"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07