I have been on a good workout streak lately. My swim class started back up last Sunday. I had some great, creative workouts from Up & Running this week (though I failed to fit one of them in and am going to try to squeeze it in as a fourth workout next week. I almost skipped my Spinning class on Thursday, but I'm glad I didn't because the instructor made it a great one. On Friday, I almost skipped my strength class because my mammogram appointment took so long (will tell more in an upcoming post) but decided to go late and again, was glad I made the effort. Today I took a Pilates class with a new instructor, who did a totally different workout than the instructors I was used to, and got to try a bunch of new, challenging moves.
I love working out so much. People often look at me with a puzzled expression when I mention the kind of workouts I do, and I know what they're thinking, "Why are you still fat?" At least that is what I think they're thinking. Maybe it's something else, like, "This is boring. I wonder what I should make for dinner tonight?"
I ask myself the "why are you still fat" question pretty often too. My weight has been fluctuating quite a bit lately, but on its upswings, I fall into the "obese" category. All of those people muttering about the "obesity epidemic" probably picture people who look like Biggest Loser contestants camped on the couch with a large pizza, but many of the obese probably look more like me -- someone who is still (barely) fitting into "normal" sizes in clothes, make an effort to eat healthy, and even exercise.
The pounds have been more stubborn for me lately. I suspect it may have something to do with my Hashimoto's, and something to do with my diet. It's still hard for me to eat below my target calories. I have also been doing more strength training, and my body-fat scale suggests that about 4 of the pounds are new lean body mass. I am hoping that if this is accurate, weight loss will start to get easier.
I think though, that thinking of exercising only as a means to weight loss is completely missing the real point. I was at a conference recently, and had to walk a pretty good distance from building to building. I was with a friend, and noticed that she was sweating and breathing hard. I felt totally fine. I feel so much more ready for a challenge than I used to. The biggest problem for me now is my closet -- I have been late to a few meetings lately because I couldn't find something that made me want to look the way I want to look.
I definitely want to lose the weight that I've picked up and a few pounds too. I want to be able to fit in smaller clothes, feel more confident, and stop taking an extra half hour to get dressed because I am trying to hide my "flaws." But I also need to appreciate how much my body already does for me. I want to be lithe, strong, fit, confident, healthy. I have about 3 out of 5 right now, though, and that's not too bad.