I have had a lot of things going on inside my head this week and in my relationships. I have been speaking up a lot more about the way I feel, and that seems to translate into snacking less. I definitely think I am someone who "stuffs" my feelings instead of expressing them sometimes. Even in an otherwise good relationship, it's easy to get aggravated by things but not feel okay to talk about them.
Example: The iPhones drive me crazy sometimes. When I am talking to my husband, and he starts checking something on his phone, it makes me want to scream. I do it too. Those things are so distracting. One of the things we talked about is that there needs to be some separation between "together time" and "work/computer (including phone) time." I think we both felt the same way about this one, but it took a while for us to figure out how to deal with the problem.
One thing I finally discussed in detail with my husband is the way he seems to monitor my exercise. I can't stand it. I have asked him to stop and he just doesn't seem to let it go. I finally confronted him (the defending myself thing from last week) and explained that constantly feeling that I had to prove myself worthy of love (thanks, Brené) was not helping me achieve my goals and was, frankly, making me feel the need to do less to prove to him that he wasn't the boss. There was quite a long discussion about this. Finally, I asked why it was so important. "I wish you would sometimes follow up on me to make sure I was doing my workouts." I don't, by the way. I figure he is capable of making his own decisions.
You know the "Golden Rule," to treat others the way you want to be treated? I'm here to tell you that it doesn't work. At least, I don't want him to treat me the way he wants to be treated. I want him to treat me the way I want to be treated. I also, though, don't think he really would enjoy me nagging him about exercise. I suppose I should try it but it sounds like too much work. I think my rule is "I get to do what I want."