Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Top 10 excuses for staying fat and unhealthy

I was excited to see that there was a new episode of "The Jillian Michaels Show" podcast, but not as stoked when I saw that the topic was "Save Money, Big Time." Jillian has done this topic to death on her podcasts.  "Buy in bulk. Buy frozen. Look for farmers' markets..." yadda yadda yadda.  It isn't that these are bad tips, it's that she seems to think that if she gives them enough times, people will stop posting nasty messages to her facebook page about how healthy food is too expensive.

Jillian, buddy, please listen to me for a second. I know you are a problem-solver and that you want to save all of those fat, unhappy, unhealthy people who keep saying they want to make changes but can't because healthy food is too expensive, or whatever else they are complaining about.  You have to realize that these people don't want answers, they want excuses so that they can keep living the way they are now. You know as well as I do that it's not as simple as putting down the pizza and picking up a dumbbell. The kinds of changes you make on "The Biggest Loser" are as simple, and as difficult, as rearranging a person's whole life so that healthy habits fit better in it than unhealthy ones.  There is nothing easy about changing your whole life.

So instead of giving solutions, I'm going to give the people what they want.  Excuses, and lots of 'em!  I will give really good excuses and lame ones, but there will be no pesky problem-solving here:

  1. I don't have enough time to (do whatever it is that I know I should do but don't want to do).
  2. Healthy food and gyms are too expensive.
  3. I have a bad knee (elbow, hip, shoulder, toe).
  4. I have a thyroid problem (hey, I actually do! but getting on meds has done nothing to help).
  5. I have very young children who take a lot of my time and attention (this is a very good excuse!)
  6. I don't want to look like those (bony, muscular, skinny) women I see on TV. 
  7. I don't like healthy food.
  8. I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable (yes, those are the only two choices).
  9. I'm too tired.
  10. Jack LaLanne was healthy and look, he died anyway.
In other Jillian-related news, her book, Unlimited, launched today.  I pre-ordered it but also ordered The Wilder Life and did the cheapskate free super-saver shipping, so I will probably have to wait until that book launces,  I also see that it is available as an Audible download, and can't wait until my new credits come online on the 11th.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Jen,
    Love the post. I was just thinking "Maybe I'm flailing around because I'm just not ready for the effort required to lose this weight." Could that be excuse number 11? No matter what excuse I have, the truth is that I'm a sinking ship and I need to act and soon! Maybe tomorrow? Ugh! I know! Don't look at me!

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  2. You are hilarious and I TOTALLY agree with you!* I KNOW ABOUT THE FROZEN VEGGIES for crying out loud!

    I dunno if I could hack Jillian reading her whole book to me but will check out the paper version :)

    * I wondering if the day will ever come when I disagree with something you write. I keep waiting coz you must get sick of my "yeah totally" comments ;)

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  3. Great post, and you're exactly right that most people want to stay where they are rather than do what it takes. Sometimes it even takes changing your goal from one of being thin and fit to simply being fit.

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  4. I was concerned that this post may have been too snarky, so I appreciate the comments. And total agreement with me is totally fine in my book!

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  5. HAHA.. I do have a thyroid problem too.. and no meds haven't helped a bit..
    I decided I'd stop making excuses for my fatness.. and I feel sooo much better. :)

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  6. I needed 2 hear this. I also need 2 stop making excuses. My life deserves 2 b lived at best.

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  7. You are so correct about people making excuses to stay unhealthy.
    With regards to Jillian Michaels, I've never listened to her podcast, so I don't know how many times she's done that particular topic. However, I am willing to bet that she repeats the topic for people who are new to her show, or who aren't frequent listeners. I write about healthy living for for a living and what I like to do is add new ideas and tips when I do an article I've done a thousand times before. Sometimes I come across new info and I think, "Oh, that tip would have been great for my last article, I wish I had thought to add that in." So, I write it down in my idea book and save it for later when I do an update. I recently wrote an article called Organic on a Budget for Pensacola Home & Garden magazine because I kept getting the same comments over and over again on my Facebook page: "I can't afford to eat healthy," they say.
    If I can afford to eat healthy, then anyone can. I learned how to shop, cook and prepare ahead and I also learned that when I eat healthy, I eat less, and that saves money as well.

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"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07