Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Weigh-in report: It's about time


I have been really struggling lately. I would track and count points for the first half of the week, then trail off  midway through Thursday.  I had slipped into the 180s, which was very frustrating for me since I was weighing in higher than I had started out back in September.  That's why I haven't been blogging about my weight lately. Can you blame me?

This week I committed to tracking even if I ended up over my points, and I also started to work on getting my points down. It paid off this week. I lost two pounds and I'm back in the 170s.  Now I just need to stick with it.

I'm also working on the "inside job" of weight loss. I've been listening to some great podcasts and books on the topic, and even bought a DVD called "The Inner Weigh" (review coming soon).  The video was good, but  some of the supplemental audio files that were given as bonus gifts with the DVD are even better, and I have been listening to them over and over.  I heard about the movie from the Inside Out Weight Loss podcasts, which I also recommend.

One of the best things I've listened to so far is BrenĂ© Brown's book I Thought it Was Just Me (But it Isn't): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. If you want a quick introduction to her theories, you can check out her TED talk. I am listening to the Audible version, but it is, of course, also available as a print book. I like to listen to audiobooks when I'm driving, and this one is really making me think.  Brown talks about the differences between guilt and shame, the way that guilt (about behavior) can be positive and help alert you to when you are acting in a way that conflicts with your values, but shame (about who you are) never gets you where you want to go.  Listening to this, I realize that it is not so much the weight I want to lose, but my shame.  I think that this is why the weight loss didn't "stick" the last time -- I lost the weight but not my fundamental sense of myself as flawed, unworthy, and inadequate.

That's what I think I need to change if I am going to get to a better place. It's harder than it sounds.

In the meantime, I'm already halfway through Chocolate and Vicodin.  It's a great read, and I will be reviewing it here soon, but don't wait, just go get it.

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. i've been listening to the fat2fit radio podcast on iTunes and LOVE it. i'll have to check out insideout, since i'm almost through all 100+ episodes of fat2fit.

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  3. Definitely. I am learning to eat when I'm hungry and what I want...foods that really make me feel good...not a temporary good. It's been somewhat of an eye opener lately to think about what I'm try to hide or overcome when I eat when I'm not hungry. I have always felt that my weight loss journey has been as much about dealing with my brain as my body!

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  4. We all have times when we struggle. You have recognised that so that is the first step to pushing past it :) Hope you have a great week!

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  5. a comparison that I'm on a diet body...nice share.

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"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07