I have been finding it harder to get outside to run, or even haul myself to the gym for workouts with the longer dark hours and the cold. Things have gotten busy with the end of the term coming up, so that's also a good excuse when the cold and dark one starts to wear thin.
Today it was 22 degrees and I was all dressed to go to the gym. As I was getting into the car, I realized that it wasn't that bad, really. I went back in, got my winter running gear on, and went out to the park for a run. The air was perfectly still, so even though it was cold it didn't feel that bad. I also liked having the park mostly to myself, with snow and leaves crunching underfoot. I saw some squirrels and one deer who just looked up at me and kept munching. Toward the end of my run I decided to sprint out the last 40 seconds or so. It felt good to really push myself.
I'm still watching "Ruby" and last night something was said about a dream that she had but didn't really allow herself to think about, because she knew she couldn't really do it with the extra weight. It gave me something to think about: How many things do we not even dare to want because we think we'd fail?
I know I've been holding off on setting any big race goals for next year because I don't want to be disappointed if I am not able to train as hard as I'd like. And I've also been sort of halfheartedly bumping along with the weight loss efforts because I don't want to set myself up for failure. I'm not saying I should be beating myself up for not achieving those things, but wouldn't it be OK to let myself want it? Maybe if I thought more about what I really wanted, it might help motivate me to try for some of those goals. Just like the run, maybe some of those things would be easier once I got started than they seem just thinking about them.
I'm going to let myself think about it for a while, but I think it's time to set some serious goals again. Goals that will push me a little, and make me happier as I work toward them.