With my 38th birthday coming up next week, I have been thinking more and more about what I really want, and one of those things is to drop some of this excess weight. If I'm really honest with myself, I would feel a lot more comfortable with my body if I could lose even ten pounds. I don't think I look terrible, but getting dressed still seems like such an effort. I spent some time recently with someone who is supposedly into "Fat Acceptance" but makes mean jokes about her weight that make me uncomfortable. It reminded me that I don't want to be that person. I'd rather gradually work on the change I want to make than live in angry denial.
I'm still playing with my weight platform. I was 1/2 pound below my starting weight today. As I said before, stepping on this thing is somehow less scary than The Scale, so I've been experimenting with it a little. A lot of the weigh-in rituals have proven pretty useless. The scale is accurate to half a pound. Before a trip to the bathroom and after, no difference. Clothes, mostly no difference. Before a run or after, no difference. It kills me to think of all the unnecessary stress I put myself through with Weight Watchers weigh-ins worrying about this stuff. I think that being at home and not having the possibility of a snotty receptionist also makes things easier. Since I'm weighing daily, I figure the little ups and downs from food choices and water retention will sort themselves out eventually if I focus on the things that make a real difference -- how much I eat and how often I exercise.
I've also been playing with "Lose It!" an application for the iPhone/iPod Touch that counts calories for food and exercise. I really like it. It's a nice, simple application with a great interface. It's free for now, so if you have an iPhone and think you might want it, download it. There are some weird quirks -- for example, sexual activity and tobagganing are on the exercise list but yoga isn't. Overall, though, it's a great program. The problem with FitDay and other computer applications was that I don't carry my computer around with me. I do, however, carry my Touch with me just about everywhere I go. This program doesn't do anything but count calories and record weight. I'm not going nuts if I'm over my calorie target but it does help me see what I'm doing and where there's room for improvement.
For exercise, I've been running 20-30 minutes 3 days a week, doing the Pilates Reformer one day a week, an advanced yoga class another day, and walking in between. After the holidays, I want to get back into a Spinning class, but signing up now seems like a waste. I also want to see if I can swim at least one day a week. I'm trying to keep things reasonable right now because I have a lot of work at the end of the semester, and there are a lot of things going on around the holidays that make it tough to stick with a routine that's too structured.
Speaking of structure, I was briefly tempted to go back to Weight Watchers next week to see what this rumored new program is all about. Then I decided I'd just watch the weight loss blogs and see what people think of it. I'm not sure I need or want a Program with a capital "P" right now. I think I'm doing pretty well on my own with my toys.
By the way, I know I haven't blogged about "The Biggest Loser" in a couple of weeks, mostly because I've been frustrated at how it's going. All I can do at this point is root for Michelle. I thought the makeovers were fun to watch, but wondered if the contestants still did their own makeup. Vicky had a weirdly pale face and red lipstick, which made her look a little clownish. I can't imagine a professional would have put that look together. Be sure to watch next week, because apparently we get to vote on one of the contestants for the final three.