Sunday, July 13, 2008

I hate reality

I was running today with my husband at my current snail's pace when someone passed me. "I hate getting passed, but I always do," I said. He told me, "We just hit 15 minutes." I said, "Boy, it seems like a lot longer. I hate reality!" Really, in my happy place, I am faster than everyone else and I never get tired. And I can eat whatever I want, exercise only sporadically, and never gain weight.

I logged in to this site today and my weight ticker was complaining that I hadn't updated it in more than 80 days. And that's because, you know, I never have the right conditions for weighing: alone in the house first thing in the morning, no food or water yet, no clothes on. OK, so I've been avoiding the scale and making excuses for it. So even though it's in the evening, after a whole day of food, water, etc., I went ahead and weighed myself. Sure, I might be a pound or two lighter under the ideal conditions, but that weight gain is mostly real.

I have been cutely calling my weight gain the "______ 10," for the name of the place I worked when I gained it. It really is 10 pounds now, I think. And I do believe that like Anne's mushrooms, the weight, though it makes me cringe a little, wasn't the real problem. It was the stress of the job and the travel, and the driving all the time, and no real time to exercise, and lunch being the biggest bright spot in my day. The lifestyle was really unsustainable, in the long run. Sure, I was making more money, but I wasn't happy. Maybe, if I were more enlightened, I would thank these 10 or so extra pounds for pointing that out to me, the way Anne's mushrooms made her look behind the wall and find the leaky pipe. But I'm really just kind of looking at it and saying, "Yuck."

Now, though, I have a couple more weeks of excuses before I'm going to have NO excuse. Thinking very seriously of trying the Making the Cut plan. Or something. I have to do something!

2 comments:

  1. You're right, Jen, that the real problem isn't the weight; that's the symptom or the "outward and visible sign" of something else. True, let enough of it pile on and it becomes a problem in itself. But the reason why the weight went on again so fast is something to pay attention to.

    I'm glad you're making a change that will take you away from the unsustainable lifestyle of the old new job. No more excuses after that! We both need to face reality.

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  2. Whatever plan you decide to follow if it's time limited, i.e. a 12 week plan or something, plan ahead for transitioning off the plan and how you'll keep your new lifestyle up. I did Body for Life years ago, which I loved, but wasn't prepared for it to end. When it did I fell off the wagon, hard.

    "Really, in my happy place, I am faster than everyone else and I never get tired. And I can eat whatever I want, exercise only sporadically, and never gain weight." Man, my happy place sucks compared to yours! I'm going to upgrade :)

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"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07