After a lot of time reading the various blogs that branched off from the AFG blog, one thing that strikes me is that many of the readers and bloggers there live alone. I normally don't live alone, but my husband went off to a sporting event. I haven't spent much time home alone lately, and I thought my husband leaving for a few days would give me a chance to regroup and pull together something resembling Weight Watchers, maybe get back on a healthy-food kick. It would be like a week at the spa! I started out with great intentions, stocked the fridge with lovely farmers' market produce and bought all kinds of whole grains. I made a tabbouli salad which would be great for me to eat throughout the week!
Instead, the demonic part of me is thinking, "No witnesses!" Who's to know or care if I go out for gelato, or have half a bag of tortilla chips for dinner? Watching an episode of "Food Challenge" on the Food Network (v. bad idea) had me fantasizing about making up a pot of macaroni and cheese. The tabbouli, feh. The recipe made such a depressingly huge amount of it that I'd have to have it every day for a week. That thought makes me not want to touch it, even though it was pretty good when I had some yesterday.
So I felt the need to go cut up a red pepper to munch on while I wrote this post, because even though I haven't pulled any really terrible food stunts, I realized that my vegetable serving count for today was only 2. Now I'm up to a respectable 3, at least. I did have some berries with yogurt earlier. Mostly what I want is the (Un)Holy Trinity: Starch, Fat, and Salt. Maybe a little Sweet, just as a chaser.
So I don't know how much of this behavior is a response to feeling lonely and bored and unmotivated to do anything productive, but I suspect that it's way up there. I took a walk, straightened up the house, did some laundry, changed the sheets on the bed, took a shower, and it's only 7 p.m. Not sure whether to be sad that my weekend is ending, or just relieved. Maybe this sense of empty time is one of the challenges for many of the Angry Fat Girlz?
Decided the next healthiest thing to do would be to write down the stuff I've eaten but not journaled yet: about half an ear of sweet corn (it was too chewy, 1 point) a 99-cent bag of Smartfood cheddar cheese popcorn (7 points), some very salty pistachios (3 points), some crackers and cheese (4 points), and half a raw red pepper (o points).
Since I ate healthy food most of the day, that just dips me 7 points into my Flex points for this week. Not as bad as I thought, before I took the time to tally things. I just stopped in the middle of my post and put on decent clothes, because even though I have no real plans for the rest of the night, there's no need to rub it in.