I lost my temper last night when this older guy (who was big and tall) saw my “before” picture and scoffed at it and told me that I didn’t need to lose weight. I tried brushing off his comment, but he repeated, TWICE, that I was just fine before and there was no need for me to have lost 50 pounds...the implication was that somehow I’m not really capable of making a sound judgement regarding my physical being.Now, I have looked at Jonathan's before and after pictures, and I can imagine what the guy was probably thinking. Jonathan's before picture looks pretty much like your typical "Guy on the Street" with a bit of a belly, and his after picture looks like an underwear model for Calvin Klein. (You're a hunk, J.) Most people in Weight Watchers are probably just striving for "normal." Still, I understand the way Jonathan feels. As a pretty "normal," (i.e., just slightly overweight as opposed to really overweight) woman, I feel like there is pressure on both sides about what I should want.
On one side is the "size 6 is the new 14" crowd, who thinks that Jennifer Hudson is "very brave" to appear on the red carpet in any size with two digits. To that crowd, my goal weight of 155 would still make me a good candidate for gastric-bypass surgery. I don't actually know any of these people but I hear them whispering to me from the fashion magazines I am still stupid enough to buy and see them on television all the time.
The other side is a more diverse group. There are friends and family who think I am "just fine" the way I am. There are some people who are thinner than me and don't want me encroaching on their territory, and there are those who are trying to lose weight themselves but don't want me getting too far ahead of them. Finally, there are a couple of people I know who think that it is not appropriate for any self-respecting woman to think, and especially not to say out loud, that there might be any real advantage to losing 5, 50, or 500 pounds, other than the advantages that come from being more in line with society's expectations for how we should look, which is of course a terrible motivation for doing anything.
I understand where this last group is coming from. I think that all people should be treated with respect, no matter what their size. Still, I know that, for me at least, life was easier at 155 pounds than it was at 200+. I didn't get tired as quickly. My blood pressure went down to the low end of the normal range instead of on the high end. My blood sugar didn't crash and make me feel shaky if I didn't eat for a few hours. I could stand heat in summer a lot better (though I lost some of my ability to cope with cold in winter).
Now that I'm close to my goal, I don't feel that those few extra pounds are causing any lifestyle or health-related problems for me. I don't have big issues with my current size. I can do everything I want to do, I feel great. But... I still want to lose my last little belly roll. I want to look better when I wear a bathing suit and not feel self-conscious. I don't think I look bad, I just think I could look better. I know that some people would think these are bad reasons for doing anything, and I have no answer for that, except to say that I'm not taking a poll. I'm living my life.