Sunday, December 31, 2006

if all your friends were jumping off a cliff...

Fellow weight-loss bloggers like The Shrinking Knitter and Cindy (and many, many others) are posting their year-end reviews so I thought that it would be a good time for me to reflect on 2006.

Last year at this time I was in Key West for the New Year. My husband and I had been looking forward to it, but for me, a lot of the fun of the trip was spoiled because I was overweight and unhappy about it. It's hard not to be self-conscious in a city full of beatiful people wearing as little as possible. I enjoyed the trip, but it was sort of like that oatmeal commercial -- I felt like I was dragging along a lot of shame in the form of my weight. It was hard walking down the street with my husband past all the women in their bikini tops and cut-off shorts. (The men walking around in just bikini bottoms didn't bother me nearly as much for some reason)

At that point, I probably only weighed about 10-15 pounds more than I do now. My attitude about myself has probably changed more than my weight, though I still have room for improvement there too. I have lost some weight, dropped a clothing size, but more importantly, I am realizing that the Snow-White-Stepmother mindset has to go -- it doesn't matter who's the fairest in the land. I don't have to compare myself to other people. I need to be grateful for my own gifts.

I have a lot of wonderful friends that I met through Frances's Amazon.com blog and AngryFatGirlz who have helped me a lot with this. I've also managed to get a lot more at peace with who I am and have gotten a lot more in touch with my spirituality. I don't feel like I'm going it alone now. And I'm working on the weight loss again, because I decided that was what I really wanted, not because anyone else thinks I should.

This year, I didn't want to go to a bar or a party for New Year's Eve. Those kinds of things are never as much fun as they sound like they will be. There's a local 5K race where you can "Run Into 2007." I just decided that I wanted to do it a couple of days ago. I've already been running so the distance shouldn't be a problem, and I thought it would be a good way to start the new year off right. And there won't be a hangover to contend with.

Though I don't believe in resolutions, I do believe in goals. Some of my goals for 2007:

  • Get back to my goal weight in the next couple of months so I can stop paying for Weight Watchers meetings
  • Defend my dissertation in May for an August graduation
  • Find a tenure-track faculty job
  • Find a home where neither my husband or I has more than a 15-minute commute to work
  • Become more centered and at peace with myself


I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful New Year's celebration and is filled with the resolve to accomplish whatever it is they want to achieve in 2007.

5 comments:

  1. Have a safe and wonderful New Years!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a goal person too.

    Run into 2007 sounds like so much fun! Will your husband run with you?

    My wish for you this coming year, you is that you find the pefect job that you are looking for.

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Running into the new year is such a vivid image as well as a reality for you - and you're doing it with your great husband, so it's even better. Yayy for you both!

    You've accomplished so much this year and are focused and balanced as you go into 2007. I wish you only the best of everything and know you will reach whatever you set for yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the idea of running into a new year and what an exciting year 2007 is going to be for you. You've already laid the ground work for school, job, your health, exercise -- I believe you can accomplish anything you want to do.

    I hope you have fun tonight and you have a wonderful and blessed year and many more! Thanks for all of your posts and comments; you are very inspirational to me. I am still amazed remembering your photos of your triathalon.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Inquiring minds want to know - how was the 5K?

    ReplyDelete

"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07