Friday, August 18, 2006

energy shortage

Yesterday I got out with my husband for a walk -- we had planned about 45 minutes but ended up getting lost and doing closer to an hour. It was nice.

We've done a lot of stuff around the house lately. Last night we were going to take up our rugs to clean them but once they were up, we both agreed that we just wanted to get rid of them. We have hardwood floors in most of our downstairs, except for the vinyl flooring in the kitchen. For some reason I thought we "had" to have area rugs on hardwood, but both of us kind of like the starkness of the wood instead, and it will be easier to keep clean with two cats.

Did some more cleaning today and then went to the gym for my lifting. I did lighter weights today because I'm still a little sore. I was going to do some kind of cardio -- elliptical trainer or something gentle like that -- but I just didn't have the energy. I'm honoring my body's apparent need for a day off but it is very hard for me to let go of the idea that I need to get my heartrate up since I took an easy day yesterday. I did some stretching, which I really needed.

Looking in the mirror at the gym, my body seems all out of whack -- nice shoulders, arms and legs that look a little fat, thin neck and tiny pinhead. I was feeling optimistic earlier in the week but today I feel like I'm never going to end up with the body I want.

It's a hard line to walk between taking care of myself and allowing my lazy, slothful side to take over and suggest a dalliance with Little Debbie on the couch. I have this deep fear that if I take it easy on myself, I'll end up hugely fat and depressed again.

As it is, I'm just slightly overweight and a little down.

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"Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t." -- Jillian Michaels at BlogHer '07